VH1’s new reality show Tough Love, in which a begelled Jersey douche who by all accounts should be selling penny stocks with Giovanni Ribisi in the Boiler Room gives unbearably sad women advice on how to hide who they are in order to make other shitty men find them barely palatable, premieres this Sunday. Perfect. Personally, I’m inviting all my best friends over for a viewing party. There’s going to be plenty of bleachtinis and a bowl of suicide bullets, but guests are encouraged to bring any kind of poisonous snacks or major-organ-liquifying drinks they want.
But wait, you guys. VH1 has announced that Steve will be answering viewer questions after each show:
Each Monday, after VH1 Tough Love’s Sunday premieres, Steve will offer some short and sweet advice to romance queries sent in by fans. You can be part of the deal. Head to our community page, find out how to upload a video, and film yourself asking whatever question you have about moving from the single life to a steady relationship. Use specifics about your frustrations, tell Steven what has and hasn’t worked in the past. He’ll respond to one submission a week, and without question he’ll up your game a bit.
Siiiick. We should seriously submit questions for this guy. We’re going to have to be tricky about it because they won’t answer our real questions. It’s all about subtext. Here’s mine: “Does how do I build a time machine so that I can go back in time and give your parents a condom make me look fat?”
Anyone who gets their question on the air wins a Videogum Prize. Seriously. CONTEST PARTY! It’s like inverted Double Dog. Do it. Go do it.