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Duh Aficionado Magazine: Steve Wozniak Is A Nerd Who Can’t Dance Very Well

Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple, was on Dancing with the Stars last night, undefying expectations.

Wait, whuuuuuut? You’re telling me that one of the most important computer nerds of all time is not that great of a dancer? Come on! That hardly makes sense. Just kidding. It makes sense. Nerds. Nerd stuff. But why doesn’t he just chop off both his sloppy legs and replace them with titanium bionic legs pre-set to “turbo-dance” mode? Why doesn’t he just do that, if he’s so smart? WHY DOESN’T HE INVENT iLEGS?!

Incidentally, dude is worth 3.6 billion dollars, and I have little doubt that every time someone makes fun of him for dancing, 100,000 dollars are immediately deposited into his bank account (he has one bank account, he keeps most of his fortune in basic checking). It’s called business.

“Keep laughing, idiots. Papa needs a new space station.” — Steve Wozniak.