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Will Monopoly: The Movie Be The Most Important Movie Of Our Time?

Nope.

But some of the people behind this mind-crushingly stupid idea for a movie think that they have a magic GET OUT OF SO STUPID JAIL FREE card. The economy. Perfect. From MTV:

“The whole world is about the financial markets,” [Brian] Goldner told MTV News. “You can’t turn on the news today without understanding the financial markets and what’s going on out there.”

If there is one underlying theme that will resonate with filmgoers across the world right now, it’s the drama behind money and houses. Owning railroads and big red hotels may be a little outside of that everyday scope, but Goldner, who is also producing films based on “Stretch Armstrong” and the “Ouija Board,” sees a feature-length story to be told within the “personal story” he characterizes as the “Monopoly” experience that is worthy of Scott’s direction.

Brian Goldner, for those of you who aren’t total boardgamebusinessheads, is the CEO of Hasbro, so he’s basically a genius when it comes to identifying the relevance of board game based movies. You can tell he’s a genius because he’s also producing movies based on “Stretch Armstrong” and the “Ouija Board.” Mensa denied his application for membership because they didn’t want him to make all the other members feel bad about how dumb they are. In comparison. To him. Because of what a genius he is.

This is easily the dumbest idea for a movie I’ve ever heard, terrifying economic collapse aside. But I do think that Mickey Rourke is going to be CRAMAZING as “The Shoe.”