Why Are 30 Rock’s Valentine’s Day E-Cards So Terrible?

I have to preface this by saying that I know exactly what it’s like to work for the website of a TV network. I have been in those trenches. So before I get to the fact that the 30 Rock Valentine E-Cards are not just horrible in the way all corporate Valentine E-Cards are horrible, but are actually nothing less than an embarrassment to the show, I just want to say that the people or persons to blame are almost certainly highly paid executives who think they understand the internet just because they have iPhones, and not the creative people behind the site, who probably had their funny ideas shot down because TV executives would not be TV executives if they had senses of humor or an ability to take risks.

Okay, now that we’re clear on that, whose fucking Grandma who has never seen a single moment of 30 Rock made these horrifying 30 Rock e-cards?

“These two people look strange together. That’s my angle!”:

“This is a picture of a lady out on the town.”:

“I tried writing a 30 Rock Valentine E-Card, but I gave up, so here’s a waste of pixels instead.”:

Don’t they know that this show is all about CATCHPHRASES? Like, here’s one right now: picture of Tracy Jordan with “I want to take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Or “You make every week feel like Shark Week.” So easy! It could actually be argued that in the history of TV, there has never been a show easier to write Valentine’s Day E-Cards for than 30 Rock. The real problem here, of course, is the fact that every company thinks that the future of the internet is E-Cards. Next year, 30 Rock (and everyone else), either hire Brandon Bird or don’t do it at all. (Thanks for the tip, Darci!)