Warden, This Woman Is An Idiot

(thanks for the tip, Edith)

Obviously, it is no coincidence that Rachel Jones has found two separate toys that say “Islam is the light” in her home when no one else in the country has found any toys that say that. The reason is because of the secret mission created by the Pro-Islamist Toy Cabal spearheaded by the crypto-Taliban organization FISHER PRICE (who have converted the former Tickle Me Elmo factory to make weaponized Anthrax) to corrupt and ruin Rachel Jones’s children by using garbled, incomprehensible audio samples in toys to make the un-American connection between washing a baby on a Nintendo GameBoy (also what is THAT all about? Get the baby the cleanest for all the points!) and something something Islam something terrorism.

This woman, with her Xenophobic paranoia and her pre-programmed auto-dial to a local news producer is the absolute worst. We’re gonna need a bigger jail.