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The Perfect Crime

Flawless. From FOX 35:

A 19-year-old Deltona man is arrested for assaulting his own mother, with a taco. Dena Moir tells Fox 35 News her son, Zachary Moir, got out of control Wednesday night when she was calling him down for dinner. When he refused to stop playing his X-box and come down for dinner, Dena Moir says she went upstairs and unplugged the game, that’s when she says Zachary pushed her and called her a bad name. “I’ve been having trouble with him for awhile won’t work, wont’ go to school. He’s being rude and disrespectful. Pushing things to the limit as far as the violence.”

A few minutes later Dena says she was in the kitchen cleaning and cooking tacos for dinner when Zachary showed up. That’s when she says he slapped her arm and threw a taco in her face. “He went ahead and hit me with the taco and I got taco all over my shirt and kitchen. I’ve threatened to call police before. But anyway this time, I thought he went too far so I called police and he’s in jail now.”

Smooth criminal! The guy is like a teenage Marcus Schrenker. Here is footage of him pleading his case:

Yes, Zachary, Jesus loves Taco Bell.