S. Epatha Merkerson Will Terrify Us Into Buying Uniball Pens

S. Epatha Merkerson, Law And Order actress and delightful late night talk show interview subject, is the new spokesperson for Uniball pens, apparently, and this commercial premiered aired last night during the Golden Globes (in NYC, at least.) It’s surreal and frightening, but in a way that’s hard to put a finger on:

Is it the Wall Street setting, with its conjuring of both 9/11 and the current financial crisis? Or is it S. Epatha’s shaky voice and alarming tone? The fact that she seems either very cold, or very angry? I’m off to buy some Uniball pens, but not because I want to. Because I’m scared of S. Epatha Merkerson. (Update: just found another version, and it’s just as scary, but mentions “These uncertain times.” Terror sells pens, apparently.)