Nobody Wants Your Stupid Sandwich, Dude

This is an actual, earnest How-To video on a How-To video site about how to keep co-workers from stealing your food. It’s like, amazing character development for the person who made it, and they don’t even know it. It’s Dwight, actually. Dwight Shrute probably made this. The character:

What a sad little sandwich and owner! First off: if it’s that big of a problem, get one of those cooler lunch bags. Secondly, nice attempt to protect your video from criticism by adding the “please ask before tossing” post-it-note, but nobody is going to follow those directions when the sandwich is clearly moldy (or owned by a crazy person who has access to “children’s washable paint” and that much time on their hands.) But you know who could have used a (better version) of this video? Ross Gellar and his “moist-maker.”