Future Parents, Do You Know What Your Kidz Bop Are Doing?

Kidz Bop is old news, but you know what else is old news? The Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and that’s still worth talking about (perfect analogy, very sensitive to the human cost). It’s just so endlessly fascinating in the way that things that make you feel really old and really scared are endlessly fascinating. It’s impossible to watch this Kidz Bop video and not be confronted both by the general terror of having children, but also to be confronted with your own mortality, because what this video says to everyone who is older than 9 is “the world no longer needs your services.” It’s no mistake that every setting involves a child playing some kind of adult role in a world completely devoid of any adults. Even something as innocuous (seeming) as a little girl in a dance studio is creepy and threatening when you realize that she’s alone in the dance studio. BECAUSE SHE OWNS IT AND PAYS A MORTGAGE ON IT.

Jesus. Stuff of Nightmares.