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Heidi And Spencer Are Even Faker Man And Faker Wife Than We Thought

First Heidi and Spencer got married. Then it was revealed that they weren’t legally married, just Mexican Vacation Married. Then it was revealed that their wedding rings were actually discarded sex toys. Then, on this week’s episode, we finally saw that Heidi wouldn’t even have a fake, non-legally-binding Mexico Vacation wedding with Spencer without getting blasted on Patron first.

:(

But the preview for next week’s season finale suggests that the couple had finally entered a California, AMERICAN court room and made it official. “You’ll be my mom,” Spencer shouted at Heidi’s mom so he could be heard over the sound of her puking her guts out. We got to see them stand before a judge, and Heidi says “I, Heidi, take thee, Spencer…” OMG!

Except that now it turns out that was also fake. The court was closed, the judge was an actor, and there is no record of a wedding license on the California wedding license record books. Yikes.

From the AP:

Despite all the official trappings, the tease of legitimate nuptials for the pair may be just that. A Los Angeles Superior Court official said Tuesday that MTV was recently granted permission to shoot in a courtroom in Beverly Hills, but it was done after hours _ and that’s not one of their judges sitting on the bench in “The Hills” footage.

MTV was granted permission to film “what purported to be a wedding outside of court hours” at the Beverly Hills courthouse, court spokesman Allan Parachini said Tuesday. He did not know who the participants were in the wedding, but Parachini said court officials wanted the filming to be treated as a news event.

The preview for next week’s season finale features a wood-paneled courtroom with the California state seal perched on the wall behind a judge. Civil ceremonies are sometimes performed at the Beverly Hills courthouse, but not in the manner portrayed in the brief preview. If a judge does preside, it is typically in chambers during a break, Parachini said.

Wait, whuuuuut? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! This is kind of insane. Sure, The Hills overdubs dialog to clarify scenes and has their cast recreate touching moments for the cameras, but this is, to my knowledge, the first completely staged event with hired actors and forged documents and everything. Not that it’s surprising. Heidi and Spencer are obviously wearing down the clock on this thing, hoping that they can make it through one more season of MTV paychecks without murdering each other, and then part amicably to pursue their separate interests (Heidi is going to be a bubble gum flavor tester, and Spencer’s going to start his own line of caffeinated hair product). Those lying assholes.