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There’s A Flood Coming, And It’s Made Of Psychotic Christian Kids

Ok, here’s a game: it’s called “CSI: YouTube,” and it’s where you try to figure out WTF a YouTube video is and why it exists. Like this one, where kids stand in the rain and say weird things like “Waiting in line is the right thing at amusement parks.” Okay. What? Then they become more ominous and threatening until they’re just literally screaming in unison, and we have no idea what it’s about except that it has something to do with Christianity and it’s scary. No, I am not ready for the rush. I’m not ready at all:

Okay, so here’s what we know from cursory Googling: this was from a late ’90s Christian video series called EdgeTV that was meant to be shown at youth group meetings to get kids talking about important issues. The creators of the series call it “slick” and “MTV-like,” of course. The clip still doesn’t make any sense and is still scary, but

“If you don’t do the right thing with white-hot intensity, then by god help us god help us god.”

is going to be my new email signature. (Thanks for the tip, Randi!)