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Friday Fight: Golden Globes

lindsay: the Golden Globes are even stupider and wronger than usual this year!
lindsay: Particularly in the comedy movie category
lindsay: and also the nomination for Entourage
lindsay: What does Entourage have to do to NOT get nominated?
gabe: impossible
lindsay: Happy-Go-Lucky?
lindsay: it’s not even a comedy!
lindsay: and it’s terrible!
lindsay: I almost walked out of Happy-Go-Lucky
gabe: i don’t know
gabe: imdb says it’s a comedy
gabe: i’m going with imdb
lindsay: Step Brothers was better
gabe: i feel like every im conversation with you
gabe: ends up being about step brothers


lindsay: if you laughed in Happy-Go-Lucky, congratulations on living to be 100.
gabe: wait a second, you’re trying to tell me
gabe: that the golden globes
gabe: is geared towards people with a middle aged sensibility?
gabe: TAKE IT EASY
lindsay: hahaha
gabe: not THE golden globes
lindsay: well, it’s geared towards foreign markets
lindsay: obviously
lindsay: but I like to think the ball-on-drumset scene in Step Brothers transcends all cultural divides.
gabe: i’m surprised that haven’t put you in charge of SlamDance yet
gabe: ENOUGH WITH STEP BROTHERS ALREADY
lindsay: So I thought The Wrestler was supposed to be the greatest combination of images and sound ever committed to filmed media
lindsay: and that benjamin button was supposed to blow
gabe: well, you haven’t seen either
gabe: but it is true that the wrestler is surprisingly ignored
lindsay: I’m just sort of saying that because I’m sick of people who have seen the wrestler
lindsay: telling me it’s better than slumdog milliionaire
gabe: oh, sure
gabe: no, that sounds hard
gabe: it also sounds like somehting i’m going to start saying
lindsay: just to bother me?
gabe: a: yes
gabe: i just think the wrestler does such a better job of doing whatever it is that slumdog millionaire something something falls short, you know?
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: “celebrating life”?
gabe: yeah
gabe: the wrestler totally celebrates life better than slumddog FAILLIONAIRE

gabe: i think that all these nominations prove
gabe: is that it was a shitty year in movies
gabe: as i have been saying to you
gabe: for weeks
gabe: 52 weeks
gabe: how was true blood nominated for best TV series?
lindsay: yes
lindsay: How was it, indeed
lindsay: They just needed something new?
gabe: they probably just read all of teh glowing blog comments on HBO
gabe: vampire_boner_69 convinced them that it was
gabe: “a show i can sink my teeth into”
lindsay: You really really hate that show.
lindsay: I really hope it wins!
gabe: i hope it wins too
gabe: in your face, Mad Men
gabe: i hope house wins
gabe: and ugly betty for comedy
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: Ugly Betty
lindsay: I bet that show is probably totally still on.
gabe: each golden globe should just be awarded to whatever or whoever made the most money
lindsay: It used to be that way
lindsay: not to be a nerd
gabe: haha, “used to”?
lindsay: but it used to be a lot more that way until everyone noticed
lindsay: it still is, of course
lindsay: but like, the reader?
lindsay: they try to go over the top highbrow in bizarre ways now
gabe: but the reader is still a big budget movie
gabe: with two huge stars
lindsay: yeah, bad choice
gabe: an academy award nominated director
gabe: produced by sidney pollack
gabe: RIP
lindsay: esp since it hasn’t come out yet
lindsay: okay, okay
gabe: i’m just saying, no one is confused
gabe: are they?
gabe: that awards are basically bullshit
gabe: i think they found that
gabe: in the pharoah’s tomb
gabe: a hieroglyph that said “fuck the oscars”
gabe: “fuck the golden globes”
gabe: “i’m out!”
gabe: that was what it said in there
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: I’m a total awards nihilist
gabe: but i’m saying
gabe: that i want the awards to embrace what they ar
gabe: e
lindsay: yeah
gabe: and give Ugly Betty a ton of awards

lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: Kate Winslet did an interview recently
lindsay: and she was like “do I want an oscar? you bet your ass I do!”
lindsay: and that made me lose a lot of respect for her
lindsay: even though it just means she would make more money
gabe: well, you’re the one who had “respect” for kate winslet
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: ooops
gabe: i mean, she’s a good actress
gabe: but it’s not like she’s
gabe: some kind of anti-status quo rabble rouser
gabe: she’s not dropping bombs on the studio system
lindsay: Have you ever met a person who has seen “In Treatment”?
gabe: what does that mean, “meet a person”?
gabe: like when you talk to the guy who comes over to your house to deliver food?
gabe: also, no
gabe: have you ever met a person who watched californication?
lindsay: no
lindsay: How do you even talk about watching that show?
lindsay: “Hey do you guys want to come over and watch Californication with us?”
lindsay: that is literally the slang for swingers now
lindsay: that’s the swinger code
lindsay: “watching Californication” is like the “friend of Dorothy” of swingers
lindsay: maybe the show doesn’t even exist!!
gabe: i think it’s just an elaborate ruse
gabe: paid for by david duchovny
gabe: to try and convince people that he still exists
lindsay: Even the red hot chili peppers
lindsay: who sued over the name
lindsay: haven’t seen the show
gabe: EVEN the red hot chili peppers
gabe: and they’ll watch anything
gabe: i feel that Gossip Girl has been unfairly snubbed
gabe: *I do not feel that Gossip Girl has been unfairly snubbed*
lindsay: well on that list it probably has
gabe: you can’t really give gossip girl any awards
gabe: i think that adding anything to those kids egos would cause their faces to explode
gabe: into a mist of cocaine and desperate need
lindsay: I hope some lands on me!
lindsay: I don’t know what that means
lindsay: I meant some of the prettiness
lindsay: not, like, flesh
lindsay: Actually, I think most of the shows I think are good were nominated
lindsay: there just aren’t that many good shows
lindsay: so they spun the wheel
gabe: yeah
gabe: it was a toss up between 30 Rock
gabe: and I Survived a Japanese Game Show
gabe: although
gabe: i do think that true blood could have easily been replaced by last summer’s fart fest Wipe Out
gabe: and the list would have more integrity
lindsay: Even Alan Ball is like “What the FUCK?”
lindsay: The mini series race is going to be a landslide
lindsay: for John Adams

lindsay: mark my words
gabe: what, you’re crazy
lindsay: here, let’s make a bet: you get Cranford
lindsay: I get John Adams
gabe: clearly bernard and doris
gabe: WHATEVER THAT IS
gabe: is going to win
lindsay: could it sound more boring?
lindsay: A Table And A Chair
lindsay: that would sound less boring
gabe: here
gabe: i’m going to go down the list and call the winners
gabe: and whoever has the fewest winners
gabe: gets paid a hundred bucks
gabe: by you
lindsay: hahaha
gabe: ok
lindsay: no
gabe: you agreed to it
lindsay: “hahaha” is not “shaking on a bet”
gabe: you just agreed to it
gabe: review the transcript:
gabe:

gabe: gets paid a hundred bucks
gabe: by you
lindsay: hahaha
gabe: ok
lindsay: that sounds great! i’m in!

gabe: best picture: REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
gabe: best comedy: MAMMA MIA!
gabe: best director: RON HOWARD, FROST/NIXON
gabe: best actor: DAX SHEPARD
gabe: best actress: VICTORIA JACKSON
gabe: and all the rest of the awards: UGLY BETTY
gabe: 100 dollars please
lindsay: it’s a comedy AND a drama!
gabe: what is? your face?