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The Five Most Ridiculous Things About House, M.D.

We all know at least three people who watch House, M.D. In fact, I think we all know exactly three people who watch House, M.D. House, M.D. is a very enjoyable show, if a show that takes place in a fantasy world less believable than that of LOST. For a long time, I thought I knew the most ridiculous things about House, and I was comfortable with those things, because it’s very obvious that the writers of the show are in on the joke and that the show works on more than one level. But then, for some reason, this week, during Tuesday’s built-up Christmas episode, I realized what the true most ridiculous thing about House, M.D. is. So here are the top five, four of which are totally “duh”, but the top one of which only became obvious to me this week, and I’m one of those three people who watches House, M.D.

5. Dr. House is racist, sexiest, and homophobic.

4. Dr. House plays electric guitar and drives a motorcycle.

3. Dr. House is a drug addict who stole from a pharmacy and faked a brain tumor, but everyone enables him because he’s such a great doctor.

2. Dr. House is always trying to kill people in order to prove that his diagnosis was right.

All of these things are the show’s premise, and after this many seasons, are expected. But the number one most ridiculous thing about House, M.D. is rarely, if ever, discussed, though much of the show’s plot depends on it…

1. In the House-verse, Dr. Gregory House is VERY FAMOUS. He’s more famous, in fact, than any doctor in our world, with the exception of Dr. Phil. But aside from that one documentary crew from that episode that was never referred to again, he writes no books, publishes no papers, and, especially, is never on television. This could not happen in the real world. That is all.

Oh, and also, drink every time they say “Sarcoidosis.”