Even Aaron Rose Thinks Aaron Rose Is The Worst

The New York Post has an interview today with former Lower East Side fixture, Aaron Rose, on whom the Gossip Girl character Aaron Rose is loosely based, and guess what? He is vaguely unhappy about it!

“I wish they would have made him cooler,” says the real Rose, a former down town artist who says he was contacted by a writer for the show six months ago, then heard nothing.

“It’s funny and it’s flattering, but there’s a part of me that’s like, ‘Oh, go after them – this is not cool. They’re messing with my reputation.’ “

This is not cool! They’re messing with his…wait, what reputation? The reputation of dating imaginary high school girls from imaginary high schools and being Wallace Shawn’s son? I feel really confident that people can draw the distinction between the fictional Aaron Rose and the real Aaron Rose, in no small part because who is Aaron Rose?

But, OK. I am willing to accept that it would be weird for there to be a character named after you and very vaguely not really at all resembling you on TV. And it would be heartbreaking if that character was the worst, as the character of Aaron Rose is definitely the worst. But the problem is that reading the interview with the real Aaron Rose makes you think that if anything the problem is that the producers got it TOO right.

For example:

When the fake Aaron Rose made his debut on “Gossip Girl” one month ago, the real Aaron Rose was in Europe.

He was unaware that his fictional doppelganger materialized on a TV show until he was deluged with “about 5,000 text messages.”

Really, Aaron Rose? About 5,000 text messages? Isn’t weird how words sound the same? It makes talking so confusing. Like I’m always getting the word “three” and the words “five thousand” confused. It makes it really hard to shop for donuts, which is something I’m always doing.

Now, he gets so many texts when an episode airs that he thinks the show’s producers should pay his cellphone bill.

Heh heh. Hold on, Aaron Rose. Let me just put down this snifter of artisanal absinthe so I can laugh at your joke harder. HEH HEH. There we go.

The real Aaron Rose adds that the fake Aaron Rose does not, in any way, comport himself like an actual artist.

“He acts like a model,” says Rose. “Like a male model. Anyone who’s a visual artist would laugh at him.”

OK, I’d just like to point out that I probably wouldn’t have even written this post if it wasn’t for that sentence, but COME ON, AARON ROSE. I’m not saying that you’re “wrong,” insofar as you are correct that the fictional character of Aaron Rose is definitely a ridiculous stereotype of an “artist,” BUT HE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ON A SOAP OPERA FOR TEENAGERS. The fact that you are a real, adult human being who says things like “anyone who’s a visual artist would laugh at him” makes you the laughable one. Someone should base a character off of you and make that character unbearable.