Videogum

Friday Fight: Who Should Win The (Video) Gummys?

gabe: i know who you voted for in the gummies
gabe: but who do you think will actually win
lindsay: Well, Beverly Hills Chihuahua will grab the ironic vote.
gabe: take off that calloused shell, robertson
gabe: there is no ironic vote
gabe: let your guard down
gabe: for once
lindsay: I did, when I saw Slumdog Millionaire!
lindsay: my guard was down for like, an hour
lindsay: and I know that it’s a 2 hour movie, but that’s the best I can do
gabe: touche
gabe: i let my guard down when i saw quantum of solace
lindsay: I guess we’re starting with movies – what movie did you like second best?
gabe: OH NO, JAMES BOND’S CAR DIED!

gabe: this was a really shitty year for movies
gabe: i think
gabe: there are a couple movies that i haven’t had time to see because of all the breaking fart news around here
lindsay: HAHAHA
gabe: like slumdog and synecdoche
lindsay: whoa, I actually thought it was a great year for movies
gabe: but for the most part it’s been a really unremarkable year
lindsay: but I followed movies much more closely this year and was more invested
gabe: step brothers does not a remarkable year make, lindsay
lindsay: but Baby Mama does!
gabe: no, seriously, i know you loved slumdog millionaire
gabe: because you won’t shut up about it
lindsay: I know this is really cheesy, but SM
gabe: but what else was remakrable?
lindsay: made me want to see movies more
gabe: you didn’t even see dark knight
lindsay: I know, and I’m really glad they’re re-releasing it in january
lindsay: There were a lot of good documentaries this year
lindsay: Man On Wire, etc
gabe: i did not see that, either, but it blew your mind?
lindsay: And there were so many good comedies!
gabe: i mean, good or even great documentary, sure
gabe: but
lindsay: Baby Mama, Role Models, Step Brothers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder
lindsay: that’s a LOT of good comedies
lindsay: for one year
lindsay: it was the Year of the Comedy
lindsay: (you can quote me!)
lindsay: (just kidding)
lindsay: I even liked Don’t Mess With the Zohan!

lindsay: though I believe it failed in its mission to solve the problems in the west bank
gabe: if you look at last year
gabe: with its there will be bloods and its no country for old men
gabe: this year just feels thin
lindsay: those movies were very serious though
lindsay: ok
lindsay: this was the year of hope
lindsay: last year was the year of despair
lindsay: this year was Comedy, Hope, and Vampires
gabe: ugh, the vampires
gabe: i guess we’d gone through a pretty long zombie cycle
gabe: it was time
lindsay: and now pirates are real…
lindsay: and robots are dancing or whatever
gabe: vampires won 2008
lindsay: and Hope
lindsay: how about TV?
gabe: i’m going to be honest with you
gabe: 30 Rock is not the best show on TV
gabe: SORRY
gabe: it is the second best show
lindsay: You are INSANE.
lindsay: I quit
gabe: it’s not
lindsay: what is the best? From G’s To Gents?
lindsay: (zing)
gabe: obviously not
gabe: friday night lights is the best

gabe: it is all hit
gabe: no miss
lindsay: It’s not “on television”!
lindsay: And yes, FNL is a great show
lindsay: very very great
lindsay: I get it
lindsay: and this is very subjective, but it just doesn’t DELIGHT me the way 30 rock delights people
lindsay: and me
lindsay: I’m never like “I wish I’d written this touching scene between a mother and a daughter set to the music of explosions in the sky”
lindsay: but I am like “I wish I’d written “Sex and Awesomeness!”
gabe: sure, me neither
gabe: i don’t want to write friday night lights
gabe: and i think that’s why i like it so much
lindsay: ooh, you want to WATCH it
gabe: it’s outside of me
lindsay: well, theyr’e apples and oranges
gabe: well, i do think that i enjoy things more when i watch them completely uncritically
lindsay: apples that are on normal tv and oranges that are on direct tv
gabe: and the fact of the matter is that when i watch 30 rock
lindsay: I hope you watch slumdog that way
gabe: i always think “this is great, but it’s not as good as arrested development”
lindsay: See, I think it’s better!
gabe: you are way wrong on that times a thousand
lindsay: Though I am re-watching all of AD soon
lindsay: I’ve seen every episode
lindsay: but I’m taking a netflix refresher course
gabe: like, i’m willing to admit that friday night lights might not actually be better than 30 rock
gabe: and obvs they are different
gabe: but arrested development is DEFINITELY better than 30 rock
lindsay: FINE.
lindsay: Arrested Development can never disappoint us.
lindsay: AD is kurt cobain
gabe: no
gabe: AD is better than kurt cobain
gabe: AD never touched courtney
gabe: it slipped my mind for a second
lindsay: But there was nobody on AD as good as alec baldwin
gabe: again, i disagree
gabe: i think that alec baldwin’s performance on 30 rock is way more one note than jason bateman on AD

lindsay: see, Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock, for me, totally transcends anything I’ve ever seen before.
lindsay: I rewind and rewatch immediately
lindsay: basically all of his scenes
gabe: well that’s basically your version
gabe: of hanging his teen beat posters on your wall
lindsay: haha
lindsay: I own his book!
gabe: ?
lindsay: His recent book?
lindsay: A Promise To Ourselves?
gabe: yeah, so what?
lindsay: owning that book is like kissing a teen beat poster goodnight every night
gabe: you know what doesn’t deserve a gummy?
gabe: the office
gabe: that show is treading more water than the hills
gabe: ALMOST
lindsay: Yeah
lindsay: Well, you know my feelings about how I just want it to go on forever like Days of Our Lives.
lindsay: or The Simpsons.
lindsay: but yes, you are correct
lindsay: one of the cameramen should commit suicide
lindsay: that would really pick that show up
lindsay: extreme shark jumping
gabe: the simpsons has been really bad this season too
lindsay: Sunday’s was the best in years though
lindsay: the half hour apple ad?
gabe: with the apple store?
gabe: ugh
gabe: that was so dumb
lindsay: sponsored by apple
lindsay: I laughed several times!
gabe: sure
gabe: it still has tons of laughs in it
gabe: but that’s the prolem
gabe: i don’t want the simpsons to be a show that’s “not as good but still better than most things on TV”
gabe: that’s not what i’ve come to expect
lindsay: yeah
gabe: after 47 years of it being on the air
lindsay: well, it’s been years since it’s been something you make sure you watch
lindsay: like, if my DVR messes up I’m just like “oh well”
lindsay: I’m still not there with the office
lindsay: best web video?
gabe: that is a tough one
gabe: there were a lot of really phenomenal videos, obvs
gabe: i voted for Love In This Club
gabe: but
gabe: I actually think that i was wrong
lindsay: yeah, there were so many
lindsay: they were all great
gabe: i think bert and ernie MOP was the best

gabe: i rewatched it like 10 times last night
gabe: it’s so good
gabe: MOP is a rap group, lindsay
gabe: rap is a type of music
lindsay: ah
lindsay: about mops?
gabe: close enough
lindsay: you don’t own rap, gabe
gabe: no
gabe: but i do own rap albums
gabe: which is one of the differences between us
lindsay: I totally put Hey Ya! on the happy side of my 2004 breakup album!
lindsay: so take that back!
gabe: haha
gabe: that’s so funny, my mom uses Hey Ya as her ringtone
lindsay: well, four years late!
gabe: zing
gabe: you zinged her)
lindsay: I would never zing your mom!
gabe: ha
gabe: i wonder how long we have until all of teh backlog is cleaned out on youtube
gabe: like, both christian the lion
gabe: and bill oreilly’s freak out
gabe: were two of the best videos all year
gabe: but so old
gabe: eventually that well’s going to run dry, isn’t it?
lindsay: NO.
lindsay: Don’t even say it.
lindsay: I will die that day.
lindsay: I think about this all the time!
lindsay: The old stuff is the best stuff.
lindsay: But you’re right, one day the last person will go home for the holidays and find the last, dusty tape in their parent’s garage.
lindsay: And upload the last weird cable access show.
lindsay: And then it Will Be Finished.
gabe: hopefully though
gabe: that dusty old cassette will be an old copy of
gabe: the ring video
gabe: and it will be finished
gabe: literally
gabe: for all of us.
lindsay: As foretold in the book of Revelation.