Who I Voted For In The 2008 Gummy Awards

Voting closes tonight at 6PM. Don’t play games. There are big prizes at stake. What’s the most you’ve ever lost on a coin toss? Two voters will be selected at random to receive 50 of the year’s best albums, and a year subscription to Netflix. Very niiiice. And if you get stuck on the music categories, just enter Better Than Ezra in every field. They killed it this year. It’s 1995, right? Perfect.

Yesterday, Lindsay published her voting choices in an effort to steal the election, but I felt that it was my duty to at least offer an alternative voice before the end of the election. Because I am a firm believer that if you see something, you should say something.

Best Movie: The Dark Knight
Why It Should Win: Um, because it was fucking awesome? To be fair, I have not seen your mom’s new favorite movie, Slumdog Millionaire, which everyone says is so great, although personally that thing looks like American Beauty But For India, i.e. “an edgy movie for boring people,” and Danny Boyle drowned any remaining goodwill I had towards him in the tepid bathwater that was Millions. But The Dark Knight was exceptional specifically because it WAS a multi-million dollar summer blockbuster and yet it was so dark and morbid. Where did that movie get such wonderful toys?

Best TV Show: Friday Night Lights
Why It Should Win: I am telling you guys, season 3 of FNL goes back to season 1 territory, which is the greatest territory. There’s the well-wrought small town dramas the show has become known for, but they don’t forget to throw in some football now and again so that we can feel the triumph normally associated with an inspirational Underdog Sports Movie. Also big Tim Riggins. [Note: next year we should really have a Gummy for “Best Fullback For A Texas High School Football Team”]

Best Web Video: “Love in This Club” Performed by the Rock-afire Explosion
Why It Should Win: This was, obviously, the toughest category, and I maintain that we should have a run-off election. In the end, Mr. Chi City is a genius, as are the Absolut ads that Zach Galifianakis made with Tim and Eric. Drunk History is a work of art, and Horrible People taught me that I actually just like soap operas. But it came down to what video did I watch more, and I probably watched Love in This Club performed by the Rock-afire Explosion 20 times. Or more. Not only that, but every time I hear the Usher song I think of the video, so it has made the leap from on-line to traditional media (the IMAGINATION being the most traditional media of all). Admittedly, it might just be that I really like Usher, which would explain why I voted for him in all the music categories, including Best Screamocore Artist.

Those are basically scientifically proven winners, since I picked them and I’m a registered organ donor. And if you’re in New York next Monday, stop by our 2008 Gummy Awards live event in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Success!