This is supposedly a trailer for season 5 of Lost that doubles as a video for The Fray, but in reality it’s just the worst.
Woof. This is way more effective than either the Three Doors Down National Guard recruitment ad or the Kid Rock/Dale Earnhardt Jr. Army recruitment ad in making the case for why I should go to Iraq and have my face shot off. Sweet relief!
For as much as I am looking forward to season 5 of Lost, if I hadn’t seen the show before, this promo would put it at the top of my Do Not Want list, also known as The World’s Longest List. Would it even be possible to make the show any less appealing? Yes. There are exactly 10 ways. Convenient!
- If the season 5 promo featured images of John McCain with graphics that said “In A Perfect World.”
- If season 5 was anything like season 3.
- If season 5 of Lost had a Fringe crossover episode and the island turned out to be one of Walter Bishop’s experiments from before he went crazy.
- If the season 5 promo was just Sawyer singing “I Feel Pretty.”
- If, in response to the economic crisis, the fifth season featured product placement and the polar bear was always trying to get a bottle of Classic Coca Cola to its CGI cub.
- If it turned out that Jacob was actually The Fray.
- If Jack woke up and it was all just a dream, but then he realized that he was in the shared dream-state machine with Agent Olivia Dunham, and the island was one of Walter Bishop’s experiments from before he went crazy.
- If the show had any more Kate in it. Yuck.
- If season 5 introduced two new characters played by Stephen Baldwin and Kathy Griffin.
- If the season 5 promo actually was an Army recruitment ad.
Seriously, though, Lost, get your shit together. You’re on TV.