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That’s Your Mask: The Réjuvénique

This is your mask. You wear it all the time. Every year, when people are trying to figure out Halloween costumes, you don’t even have to say anything, and no one asks you, because everyone knows you’re just going to wear your mask again, like you do every year. You wear the mask to dinner parties. People are like “Why is she wearing that horrifying mask?” The hosts shrug. No one knows the answer. “Well could you ask her to take it off, I can’t eat with that thing at the table.” You do not take it off. Not for anyone. You wear the mask to the grocery store, which is why you are never able to pick out the ripest melon. You wear it to movies and to baseball games. At night, when it’s time to go to bed, you hang the mask up on a nail in the closet, but most nights you wake up in a sweaty panic and put the mask back on. In the morning, when you wake up, you’re often clutching the mask with your sleeping hands, pushing it harder onto your face.

(Neatorama via BoingBoing)

I wish you would stop wearing your mask. There are children here.