Goodbye, Fringe

I think we’re done here. You had your chance. Perhaps you would like to know where you went wrong. OK, let me tell you:

  • A show’s characters should NOT be constructed like a high school term paper. Once you’ve established them, it should be enough to have those characters operate naturally within the fictional world that you have provided for them. But you, Fringe, feel the need to constantly harp on the already flimsy and unengaging two-dimensional traits you’ve mapped out, as if you were unsure of yourself and wanted to convince everyone you’d done the homework. Walter Bishop is soooo eccentric! Peter Bishop is such a cynic with a heart of gold! Olivia is retarded! We get it, Fringe. In fact, we got it four episodes ago.
  • You might actually be surprised at how much bullshit I am willing to allow when it comes to science fiction. That’s the whole point. But the over-the-top experiments have really crossed some kind of tolerability threshold whereby shut up, Fringe. Between the shared dream state, the dead woman’s retinal JPG scans, and last night’s electrically-charged cadaver mind reading, you have gone too far. I’m an idiot, Fringe, but I’m also not an idiot, you know?

More of what you did wrong after the jump.

  • You basically have only one structure, Fringe. Crazy thing happens at the beginning. Walter chuckles because it reminds him of his work. Things almost get out of control. Walter does some impossible science that is infuriating. Peter is like “This just might work.” Olivia Dunham draws her gun and saves the day. Cedric Daniels reminds her just how little she knows about “The Pattern.” For a show to have genuine dramatic tension there has to be some element of the unknown or the unexpected, the belief that things could go another way. The Fucking Hills has more dramatic tension than this show.
  • In order to establish a sprawling web of intricate conspiracies that pulls the viewer in and makes them want to know the answers, you kind of need to solve all of these other problems first. You’ve really gone all in with the massive globe-spanning humanity-endagering mega-mystery before anyone even had time to give a shit. So we don’t. Have fun with your big mystery! Don’t bother letting me know how it all turns out!
  • Sorry, you’re not the X-Files.

Oh, Fringe. We had such high hopes. J.J. Abrams! Paranormal excitement! And you are so shiny and expensive looking! It’s hard to say goodbye. Just kidding. It is easy. Goodbye.