Videogum

Friday Fight: Now What?

lindsay: So the election is over. Now what videos are we going to watch on the internet?
lindsay: Back to just cats?
lindsay: Full House tribute videos?
gabe: wait, isn’t that what you’ve been watching this whole time?
gabe: it sounds like you’re just describing what you’ve been watching this whole time
lindsay: There were a few beautiful weeks of really crazy people and bad get out the vote ads.
lindsay: Can we keep the crazy people?
gabe: no, those people go back in the basement
lindsay: I’m hoping they all get their own shows

lindsay: Sneaky Monkey McCain Rally guy
gabe: i think you’ve used up all your hope
gabe: that guy should not get a show
lindsay: Toothless racist lady on a motorcycle
gabe: what are you talking about?
lindsay: They could all be the new View!
gabe: you just want all the racists to get their own shows?
lindsay: They could sit around and discuss hot topics
lindsay: Joe the Plumber could be the Barbara
gabe: well, joe the plumber probably will get his own show
lindsay: the most august, famous of them
gabe: so congratulations
gabe: your wish is probably going to come true
gabe: and you will be so happy
gabe: you and your horrible joe the plumber show
lindsay: Well they could be his guests
gabe: i am really glad that you are not in charge of entertainment
gabe: i used to think that i was glad that you were not in charge of entertainment
gabe: but now i am double glad
gabe: there would jsut be two tv stations
gabe: one would run an endless marathon of Who’s Tickling Me reality shows
lindsay: Says the guy who used to spend entire weekends thinking about From Gs To Gents, and now spends them thinking about The Pickup Artist.
gabe: and the other channel would be a 24 hour stream of racist invective
gabe: by angry john mccain supporters
lindsay: it’s not “Who’s Tickling Me”!!
lindsay: It’s SO YOU THINK YOU CAN TICKLE
lindsay: right
lindsay: You know, any YouTube scholar has to admit that a big part of the entertainment of this election were the crazy people.
lindsay: I dont’ want them to go back into the woodwork is all
lindsay: they brought our country together in judgment of them
lindsay: like reality tv used to do
gabe: i really feel like
lindsay: before we all got immune
gabe: even if that were true
gabe: it would be great for them to go back into the woodwork
lindsay: Maybe there could be a show like intervention
gabe: that’s like saying 9/11 brought america together, we should have more 9/11s
lindsay: but for racists!
gabe: it’s great how people feel outraged by racial invective, everything should be filled with it!
lindsay: I guess that’s called “Wife Swap” half the time
gabe: haha
gabe: that’s true
gabe: Wife Swap is basically the crazy election youtubers getting their own show

lindsay: Yeah, Wife Swap was so ahead of its time. (Ed: or Trading Spouses, whatever, they’re the same.)
gabe: i know that this isn’t true
gabe: but i actually genuinely feel, at least for the moment
gabe: like it might never be possible to care about heidi and spencer again
gabe: they are the bush years incarnate
gabe: like, you could put all your hatred onto them, but you still had to watch them
gabe: not anymore
lindsay: Yeah
lindsay: They’re casualties
lindsay: And they know it.
lindsay: (I hope)
gabe: well, they don’t know anything
gabe: there’s no reason to expect them to be any more aware now
gabe: then they ever were
gabe: which was always completely unaware
lindsay: Isn’t MTV already working on a show about capitol hill interns or something?
lindsay: a DC hills?
gabe: ugh
lindsay: No, Gabe
lindsay: this isn’t one of my dumb ideas
lindsay: this is one of MTV’s dumb ideas
gabe: haha
gabe: i feel like it’s going to be really hard to cast Morgan Freeman as the president now
gabe: that chapter in his career has ended
lindsay: Hahahaha
lindsay: he’s going to have to be a villain
lindsay: oh man, last night I saw a promo for Chocolate News

gabe: all of the near-future disaster presidents are going to be women or hispanic from now on
lindsay: and was like “Wow, Chocolate News…we barely knew yee”
lindsay: it’s completely irrelevant now
lindsay: haha
gabe: or gay
gabe: a near-future disaster movie with a gay president
gabe: representing how america has progressed
gabe: is going to be hilarious
lindsay: Not that Chocolate News was ever good
lindsay: but now seeing promos for it just makes me sad
gabe: why are you talking about chocolate news?
gabe: i thought the first rule of chocolate news was no one ever talks about chocolate news?
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: I wonder if Sarah Silverman is worried
lindsay: now that we’ve come together as a country, maybe her jokes will be actually offensive now
lindsay: instead of just making fun of offensive jokes
gabe: right, because racism is over
gabe: the end
lindsay: a meta level has been shaved off
lindsay: well, that’s the joke
lindsay: .com
gabe: all the racists are like “well, the electoral college has shown me the error of my ways”
gabe: i think that if you go back
gabe: through every IM conversation we’ve ever had
gabe: about anything
gabe: you end up wondering how the subject will affect sarah silverman
lindsay: Sarah Silverman is balancing on the head of a pin
lindsay: I just worry for her
gabe: what are you talking about?
gabe: sarah silverman is doing FINE
lindsay: Oh, her show is great
lindsay: I just mean, it’s of the moment
gabe: i will give you a list of the types of people i do not worry about
gabe: rich people
gabe: famous people
gabe: rich famous people
gabe: that’s the list
gabe: it is my belief that with their wealth and social status they can, if not manage, hire someone to manage for them
lindsay: is the hills already cancelled?
lindsay: maybe we can set up phone banks and call neilsen families
lindsay: to get shows cancelled
lindsay: Yes We Can
gabe: obama’s not the messiah lindsay
gabe: he’s not going to be able to fix everything right away
lindsay: I know, but there’s a feeling that anything is possible if we all work together!
lindsay: it’ll be gone monday
gabe: i don’t know
gabe: did you see his press conference today?
gabe: i think it’s going to take a really long time
gabe: of seeing the president standing in front of a podium
gabe: NOT sounding like a chuckle-headed moron
gabe: before that feeling totally goes away
gabe: it’s pretty exciting every time
lindsay: Yeah, I loved it
lindsay: Especially, of course
lindsay: (say it with me)
lindsay: THE PUPPY PART

gabe: the puppy part, yes
lindsay: He seems really serious though, almost like “Oh shit, what now”
gabe: it’s funny because you can totally imagine
gabe: people who did not support him
gabe: seeing the puppy part and just thinking
gabe: the economy is collapsing and the war in iraq is raging and this guy is talking about puppies?!
gabe: and by people who did not support him
gabe: i mean
gabe: the entire roster of talent at Lindsay’s TV Station
lindsay: That TV station would do really well, by the way. We could call it Feel Superior TV.
gabe: that tv station would do really well
gabe: it would be called FOX News