Videogum

50 Cent Is Legend

Music Video Director: OK, 50, I’ve got a great idea for your new music video. It’s going to be set in the future and you’re going to be in, like, this futuristic basement lifting crazy weights. We will make them out of styrofoam so that you can lift what is going to look like a retarded amount of weight at dangerous speeds. Lift lift lift! And then when it’s time to go outside you put on a bluetooth but for your eye. And you’re driving around in the apocalypse desert in the future in your Hummer and you’re just, like, on a mission, because it’s the future. And then you kick down a window and you’re like “Get up!” You know, like “get up, guys, it’s the future and we’re at war with robots or something.” And then you go to this laboratory and rescue this beautiful woman because the robots got her. And you take her back to your basement and you show her a filmstrip as medicine and then she wakes up and the two of you find the clones. It’s like Mad Max meets I Am Legend meets The Matrix meets ‘Candy Shop.’ Mr. Cent? What do you think?

50 Cent: Whatever. Waitress, more Muscle Milk.