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America’s Next Top Plumbing Contractor

Joe the Plumber is ridiculous! From TMZ:

The heretofore unknown and more or less mediocre Samuel J. Wurzelbacher is trying to elasticize his 15 minutes of fame: He’s actually enlisted three managers to craft his “brand,” and could get into country singing. “Joe is a hard-core country music fan, and he can carry a tune,” says his manager apparently without irony.

Other possible gigs include shilling for Home Depot or, less specifically, being “the voice of Middle America.” One thing he says he won’t do: Run for office.

Of course. OF COURSE THIS GUY HAS ENLISTED THREE MANAGERS TO CRAFT HIS “BRAND.” Incredible. Although we can put aside all this talk of a music career or being “the voice of Middle America.” Joe the Plumber is headed straight for reality TV. Duh. You don’t have to not have actually gone to plumbing school to know that one.

And he’s going to need a catchphrase.

Here are some he can have for free:

  • You contract is up.
  • You’re Flushed.
  • You Would Be Flushed if I Knew How A Toilet Worked if I Was a Real Plumber.
  • Please Pack Your Wrench and Go.
  • Joe Six Pack Your Wrench and Go.
  • I’m the Worst.

Ugh. Joe the Plumber. I’ve called America a cab and it’s taking us all to jail.