Does Lara Spencer Have A Soul? A Videogum Special Investigation

Every night at 7, when my TV turns itself on and starts playing The Insider as I clean up the empty coffee mugs and candy wrappers that constitute my blogging area (known affectionately as “The Bell Jar”), I think about what life must be like for host Lara Spencer. I don’t know what Lara Spencer set out to be in life — maybe, like many of us, she never had a real plan other than fun and friends. And maybe, like many of us, she’s happy to make a living working in a superficial industry, doing things that nobody will remember in even a day’s time, much less when she’s gone. But certainly, when Lara Spencer was a little girl, she never dreamed she would one day be the one lucky enough to assault America with this:

Someone needs to keep an eye on Lara Spencer, so here we go. To paraphrase Marilyn Monroe: Lara Spencer wasn’t the prettiest. She wasn’t the most talented. She just wanted to exploit the tragic death of an innocent little boy more than anyone else.