Videogum

The Friday The 13th Remake Looks Hilarious

I don’t know if it’s because you can’t really care enough about a character from the first 30 seconds of a trailer to give a shit if they’re murdered in the last 30 seconds of the trailer, or if it’s the fact that spooky campground slasher films have been parodied so much that there’s an almost Pavlovian giggle response (Whoops, I meant Pavlovian laugh response. I DON’T giggle, EVER.) But the trailer is as funny as it is not scary, and it is very not scary.

Get off the floor! Isn’t it so scary when someone slowly cuts a hole in the floor with a machete and you’re trying to stay off the hole but accidentally you’re just standing right where they cut the hole and then you fall into the floor and they get you. So scary. Oh, and, uh, SPOILER ALERT, I think that girl dies at the end. Granted, they did cut that scene two images before the knife split her head in TWAIN, but I’m pretty sure I remember just enough high school physics to recognize that even if the Lakewood High linebacker manages to squeeze off a dying shot (that’s what she said?) with his blood-streaked shotgun, the momentum of Jason’s downward swing will still totally cleave her face.