OK, Guys, Can Someone Please Make Something Better Than A Sony Commercial?

There is something intensely frustrating about being EXCITED for a new Sony Bravia commercial. Mostly because it makes me feel like AN ASSHOLE. I mean, Jesus, these are ads for televisions. Televisions! I already have a television! And yet, AND YET, they are consistently some of the most visually captivating videos around, with the colors, and the surprises, and always with the gentle strains of indie rock so popular among the young ladies with the asymmetrical haircuts and the boys wearing the young ladies’ jeans. I’ve watched the Jose Gonzales-soundtracked bouncing balls Bravia commercial a dozen times. A DOZEN TIMES. I would kill myself, but then I would never see THE BRILLIANT COLORS AND VISUAL IMAGINATION OF ANOTHER TELEVISION COMMERCIAL FROM A COMPANY THAT FOR AS MUCH AS I KNOW USES SWEATSHOP LABOR. Do they? Sony could literally use human blood to power their ultrathin HDTVs and I would still be like “Did you see the new Bravia commercial? Pretty sweet.”


Surely there must be something out there that’s better than this. I am ashamed of how much I respond to these commercials. And you know what shame means.