The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kim Zolciak Is A Fucking Liar

Kim Zolciak, the only white housewife in Altanta, who is also not a wife, is a fucking liar. Look, giving people on reality TV a hard time for contradicting themselves or for engaging in self-serving, sub-respectable behavior is like shooting the most obnoxious fish in the saddest barrel. BUT SOMETIMES FISH NEED SHOOTING. After last week’s episode in which Kim threw an extraordinarily lavish and over-indulgent birthday party for her daughter (who was turning ELEVEN!), I was totally ready to give it a rest with the Kim bashing this week. And lord knows (by lord I mean “anyone else who watches this show”) that all of the housewives deserve plenty of criticism and mockery, if not for the way in which they are living their lives (we all have to get through the day), then at least for the way in which they have decided to present the way in which they are living their lives to the rest of us. But this Kim. OMGod. She needs to be stopped, because liars are the worst, and all the liars should go to jail.

After the jump, Kim Zolciak, CAUGHT IN A MESH TEDDY OF LIES.

Here is Kim at a photo shoot, which supposedly has something to do with her aspirations to be a country singer, because as you know, the first step towards a music career is photos. Later she will take voice lessons, but first it’s photos duh.

She just hates cleavage you guys. She wants to be respected for her talent. She’s not just another blonde with big boobs. If she had it her way, she wouldn’t even have boobs probably. Did you know that in high school she was voted Least Likely To Show Her Cleavage At All Times?

You’d think with all that money she has that she could find a repairman to fix all her broken shirts. FUCKING LIAR. Those are just screencaps from last night’s episode, which doesn’t even take into account the “slutty school girl dress” from two weeks ago. Oh, also this:

Go to jail, Kim Zolciak.