True Blood Is Basically Just A Sidekick Commercial At This Point

I’ve given up on this show. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop watching, or that I won’t still rile up the vampire-loving teenage girl contingent each week with some unacceptable proposition, such as “the characters on this show lack emotional resonance and are poor metaphors for the subaltern.” But last night’s episode was just an hour long wack attack. THIS SHOW SHOULD BE CALLED THE WACKNESS. First of all, my favorite character on the whole show, Lafayette, who is still my favorite and who I think should be the focus of a spin-off series that outlives the original. The black Frasier, if you will. But what is up with even him? After Jason Stackhouse ODs on a vial of vampire blood (SURE!) that Lafayette sold him, Lafayette still tries to convince him that it’s a totally worthwhile drug that Jason Stackhouse should do all the time, despite the fact that they are supposedly friends. But then when Jason gets addicted to it, Lafayette is mad at him? Wait a second, a drug dealer with irrational motivations, that doesn’t seem right! OK, I guess I made my own counterpoint, but still. Come on, Lafayette. And Sam Merlotte pulling Sookie’s vampire-bite hiding scarf off of her neck in front of the entire town and then giving her a hard time in public hardly seems like the behavior of someone who cares for and/or is holding a torch for someone. That’s just straight up abusive. And Tara is the worst!

So if this show lacks any kind of sustainable emotional core, then the only thing that is left is to advertise. As in this moment from last night.

Seriously, though, who is that vampire texting? This show is ridiculous!