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The Hills: Holly Montag Is Unnecessary

I refuse to talk about Audrina’s boy problems. As far as I’m concerned, Audrina should seal up her vagina with cement. Justin Bobby. He’s a HAIRDRESSER. I’m not throwing hairdressers under the bus, but I will throw ridiculous people under the bus, and sometimes ridiculous people are hairdressers. JONATHAN ANTIN? I rest my case. Audrina’s boy troubles. Get real. Does she like Cory more than she likes Justin Bobby? That’s like asking if someone likes warm water better than lukewarm water. It’s not even a question. I refuse to exert any more mental energy on the romantic triangles of a woman who doesn’t even know what a triangle is (“is that the sharp shape?”). So this week that eliminates having to deal with just about everyone except for Heidi and Spencer, and Heidi’s sister Holly.

As we know, Holly Montag has been crashing at Heidi and Spencer’s condo for an indeterminate amount of time. And Spencer’s had it!

That clip provides so many more questions than answers. For example:

  • Why does Spencer Pratt need an office?
  • What is Spencer Pratt eating?
  • Who will kill him for the way he talks about moms?
  • Which producer wrote that line about hating sisters for him?
  • Spell check the letter? Is he serious?
  • I know he wasn’t serious about the spell check thing, but is he serious?
  • Who will kill him?

But he kind of does have a point. Not about the moms thing, for which he deserves harsh and fatal punishment, because moms are the best. But Holly Montag is ridiculous. And to be clear, I recognize that she was probably forced to stay in Heidi and Spencer’s condo by the producers in order to create some kind of, ANY KIND OF dramatic tension in this discarded condom of a show, but she’s still ridiculous. The woman is Joe Francis’s personal assistant for heaven’s sake. (Sorry heaven). I believe that family is family and that you have to take care of your house, but anyone over the age of 25 who doesn’t recognize the obnoxiousness of overstaying one’s welcome deserves whatever happens to them (jail).

OFFICIAL POSITION: Holly Montag is an idiot! PUT IT IN THE BOOKS.