Whoops, Matthew McConaughey Started A Website

I feel that for the most part what Matthew McConaughey does in his spare time has no effect on my life. If he wants to take off all his shirts and do suicide sprints down the beach before a quick set of a billion crunches on a picnic table, so be it. If he wants to skip out on the birth of his child to go down to Nicaragua and get “someone call him a hospital” drunk, that is his business. But now this bleached-out man-child has created his own “lifestyles” website (via scandalist) and that’s where we run into a problem. Because I don’t live near the beach, and I’m not going to Nicaragua any time soon, but I’m on the internet ALL DAY LONG. What if I accidentally run into this thing?

Not to mention the fact that it’s called JK LIVIN. Is there a way to shoot a website? With bullets? With all the bullets?

As far as I can tell, j.k.livin achieves its goal of spreading positive messages and casual hope by selling sweatshirts? You guys need to seriously understand that life is a journey not a destination by dropping 50 bucks on one of these sweatshirts. Chiiiiiiill. Not that it doesn’t state a higher purpose:

j.k. livin is not a rulebook, it’s a lifestyle. Because everyone can apply it differently, we decided to start the j.k. livin family so you too, can apply j.k. livin to your own life, in your own way.

Oh phew! I thought this was going to be another of those rulebook websites. It’s not, guys. If you want one of those rulebook websites you’re going to have to go to With j.k.livin, everyone can apply it differently. That means if you want to tie your sweatshirt around your waist and wear it as a skirt you can. If you want to tie your sweatshirt around your head like it’s a silly hat, go for it. No rules, brosef. As long as it involves spending 50 dollars on a sweatshirt and doing something with that sweatshirt, let your imagination run wild, brohaim.

Shut up, Matthew McConaughey’s website.