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“Wingman Down” Or “Who’s Watching The Wingmen”

In my excitement over The Pickup Artist’s second season earlier today, I quickly posted a picture of the new cast, only to realize later that they didn’t just add wing-woman Tara (who viewers will remember as the kissing coach from Season 1), but they used her to REPLACE J-DAWG! OH NOES.

Where’s J-Dawg, String? What happened to J-Dawg?

The internet is silent on the location of J-Dawg. I mean, we know that no matter where he is, he’s getting so much trim it’s sick, but why isn’t he going to be a part of the new season? Was it the skunk stripes dyed into his peroxide blonde hair? Was it the being two feet four inches tall? Did fellow wingman Matador eat him? Did fellow wingman Matador rape and then eat him? Did fellow wingman Matador rape and then eat him and then go back to making a collage of Matador’s favorite pictures of himself?

We will never know. Because no one cares.