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Historic Trash Talk: The Ultimate Fighter Edition, Part 2

This week’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter was light on the trash talk. That’s OK. More time for elbows. My motto in the octagon has always been “Less Trash Talk, More Knee To Your Face” (I have never been in the octagon and do not have a motto for it). Fighter John Polakowski, on leave from his job at Dunder Mifflin, had a surprising trash talk technique, which seemed to consist mostly of describing his ADD, and then remarking with a huge smile on his face how he and his opponent didn’t know each other, but that was a nice thing because then it was a surprise. Haha. That is one of my favorite ways to crush the psyche of my enemy. I just go up to them and I scream ‘SURPRISE, NOW WE’RE FRIENDS!’ in their face, and they don’t even have the will to keep fighting. And then I punch them. It should be noted that Polakowski won his match against Englishman Wesley March, due in large part to how Wesley March broke his shin. But good guys win. Nice.

But the award for most historic trash talk of the evening goes to competitor Tom Lawlor.

Tom, dear, the Logic Police are at the door? They say they need to talk to you about an incident on the TV? He does have a point, though. Most people who are on this show are only there to be intimidated by someone’s size and the way he looks. I would add a quick nullus to that, but everything having to do with the UFC and this show is homophobic enough. In any case, Tom Lawlor won his match against Ryan Lopez, so he can continue to fight and eat and not die.

At the end of last night’s episode there was a quick preview of the upcoming season and I’m very happy to inform you that there is going to be plenty of historic trash talk in the weeks to come. Trash talk includes getting really drunk on well liquor in the kitchen of a reality TV McMansion and punching some dude in the face, right?