Friday Fight: Who Will Win The Emmys?

lindsay: So who do you think will win the Emmys?
gabe: david schwimmer
lindsay: If Dexter is robbed, I swear to god…
gabe: i think that david schwimmer is going to take home all of the emmy’s
gabe: except for sound production
gabe: because his sound production SUUUUUUCKS
gabe: do you even watch dexter?
lindsay: No.
gabe: who watches dexter?
lindsay: Nobody I know watches Dexter
gabe: i feel like one editor at entertainemnt weekly and one editor at the new york tiems watch dexter
gabe: david edelstein watches dexter
gabe: and bugs his friends about how great dexter is
gabe: so that the rest of us feel bad for not watching dexter

lindsay: I always talk about Dexter because it’s funny to me.
lindsay: Like, “hey, I have to get going, Dexter is on in five minutes.”
gabe: it’s a ripple effect
lindsay: Yeah
gabe: i would watch, dexter, though
gabe: i’m not above dexter
gabe: you’re DEFINITELY not above dexter
gabe: some of the shit you put in your eyes
lindsay: I think that Dexter should win for Outstanding Acheivment in Poster Design And Publicity
lindsay: Maybe there isn’t even a show Dexter
gabe: i think dexter should win for best guilt
gabe: dexter and weeds
lindsay: maybe it’s all just publicity
lindsay: Yeah, Weeds
gabe: Show Your Friends Are Most Bugging You About
gabe: weeds
lindsay: I’ve tried to get like 6 people to start watching Weeds with me
gabe: a sweep
gabe: the weeds after party is bananas
lindsay: hahaha
gabe: everyone forgets to go to the weeds after party
gabe: and other jokes about the effects of marijuana
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: You know, I actually care about two categories
lindsay: Like, I care in my heart
lindsay: for real
gabe: i know
gabe: make up and costumes
gabe: get it?
lindsay: Jon Hamm and Alec Baldwin really need to win.

gabe: what are they up for
gabe: best louches
gabe: the category of Whitest
gabe: they are head to head for the whitest dudes
lindsay: Best Actor, Drama and Best Actor, comedy
lindsay: AILFs
lindsay: ew, nevermind
gabe: what is the A?
gabe: assholes
lindsay: Actor
gabe: oh
lindsay: well same diff!
lindsay: but Jon Hamm isn’t an asshole
gabe: yeah, totes same diff
lindsay: hahaha
gabe: you don’t know
gabe: don’t act like you know jon hamm
gabe: don’t act that way
gabe: because you don’t
lindsay: My friend Rachel met him
gabe: hahahahah
gabe: oh wow
lindsay: That settles it.
gabe: no, my bad
lindsay: The end.
gabe: i didn’t realize you had a third party anecdote
gabe: alec baldwin is a great actor
gabe: and he’s hilarious in 30 rock
gabe: but i’m really pulling for david schwimmer this year
lindsay: I have some sad news
gabe: i feel that he was ripped off in 95
lindsay: It can be found wherever a list of this year’s nominees is found
gabe: what about Best Actor In Syndication
gabe: what about best actor from the Pall Bearer
gabe: i’m not even sure he would win that
lindsay: They have an award for that
lindsay: it’s called “Money”
lindsay: I liked the pall bearer
lindsay: or I liked being 17
lindsay: and getting to see movies without my parents
gabe: is kristen bell up for anything?
lindsay: you wish kristen bell was up for anything
gabe: Best Recognizable Voice Over
gabe: From A Show About Brats
gabe: i think denise richards is going to finally win one this year

gabe: Stupidest C-Word
gabe: and it’s a crowded field
gabe: FOR SURE
gabe: but she was phenomenal
lindsay: She was something special
lindsay: is she nominated?
lindsay: didn’t they already do the reality ones?
gabe: how would i know
gabe: that would require googling emmy’s
gabe: which is more interest than i have in them
lindsay: Charlie Sheen is nominated
gabe: oh good
gabe: for what?
gabe: Saddest
lindsay: Richest
lindsay: Ricky Gervais is nominated for Extras
gabe: that’s good, i guess
lindsay: doesn’t it seem like Extras ended in like 2002?
lindsay: That was the only show ever where it didn’t bother me when people played themselves
lindsay: playing yourself is so dumb
lindsay: it’s the worst
gabe: that’s not true
gabe: i don’t agree with that
lindsay: well it used to be okay
lindsay: but now that the hills girls are playing themselves on things
lindsay: I don’t know
gabe: no, you are wrong
gabe: playing yourself is not the worst
lindsay: well, after biopics
gabe: you’re just mad at the hills girls for BEING themselves
lindsay: and MRSA
gabe: which is a different problem
gabe: also your favorite thing in the world is NPH in harold and kumar

gabe: so you are full of shit
gabe: the end
lindsay: Oh yeah
gabe: you are a liar who lies for money the end
lindsay: Ok, maybe it’s just Audrina
gabe: ok, but you are talking about pseudo-reality TV and that has nothign to do with people playing caricatures of themselves on extras
gabe: is CSI: Miami up for any awards
gabe: that’s a TV show
lindsay: lemme check!
gabe: is there an award for Best Spin-Off yet?
lindsay: I love how you refuse to look
gabe: Least Worst Spin-Off
lindsay: No, it’s not
lindsay: the closest is Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
gabe: what is she nominated for?
gabe: Most Mannish?
gabe: Most Vagina Dentataish
lindsay: What? she is not mannish!
gabe: she is something
gabe: she is something threatening to my manhood
lindsay: good looking?
lindsay: ZING
gabe: hahah
gabe: what does that mean?
gabe: man, the zings that you don’t even get are the hardest zings
lindsay: who is holland taylor?
lindsay: from two and a half men?
gabe: two and a half men?
gabe: what’s that?
lindsay: is that that awful dirty mouthed hatchet faced lady?
gabe: i don’t know who holland taylor is
gabe: i don’t know what you’re talking about
gabe: two and a half men?
lindsay: oh nevermind
lindsay: she’s that old lady who’s been in everything as the rich lady
lindsay: are they still doing that thing they said they were going to do at the emmys where people come out and say catchphrases?
gabe: again, it should be made perefctly clear that i have even less of an idea what i’m talking about than usual because i do not care about the emmy’s
gabe: so i’ll go with yes
lindsay: Nobody cares about the emmys
gabe: yes they rare
gabe: 50/50 chance
lindsay: Except Kathy Griffin
lindsay: Who thinks they’re a big deal and bestowed upon only the hardest working people with the very most talent.

gabe: if you think that your precious jon hamm does not care about an emmy
lindsay: Jon Hamm pretends to care a little
lindsay: because it would be ungracious not to
lindsay: and Jon Hamm is nothing if not gracious in all things.
gabe: this sycophantic jon hamm nonsense will not stand
lindsay: It will too stand.
lindsay: Jon Hamm is the best
gabe: this is going to turn into one of those romantic comedies where i devise elaborate schemes
gabe: to show you who jon hamm really is
lindsay: ooh, it is?
gabe: and that he is wrong for you
lindsay: Okay!
lindsay: You won’t find anything!
gabe: it’s going to be like Saving Silverman

gabe: except worse
lindsay: Like he secretly kicks puppies
gabe: it’s going to be worse than saving silverman
lindsay: you were the only person who saw saving silverman btw
gabe: that’s not true
gabe: steve zahn’s mom saw saving silverman
lindsay: with you
lindsay: on a DATE
gabe: here are the shows that I think should win
gabe: The Wire, that was a great show
gabe: Arrested Development
gabe: so funny!
gabe: and From G’s to Gents, which touched my heart
gabe: all the rest of TV can feel the stinging pain of rejection and dismissal
lindsay: Are you sad that From Gs To Gents is over?
gabe: no
lindsay: You were their viewer
gabe: it was perfect
gabe: it was just the right length is what she said
lindsay: hahahha
lindsay: did anyone become a gent?
gabe: you should read my new blog,
gabe: i think you’ll like it!
gabe: let me guess what you think should win the emmy’s
gabe: Drew Carey
gabe: that’s it
gabe: just Drew Carey
lindsay: sorry, david schwimmer. there’s always lifetime achievement.