Cyndi Lauper Roofied And Forced To Participate In Fake Infomercial

First, AOL’s Department Of Internet Humiliation came for Liz Phair with that Matrix parody, and now they’ve struck a more ambitious target: Cyndi Lauper. We’ll never know how many Ambiens they had to feed Cyndi to get her to do this fake infomercial for something called “Cyndi Lauper Blows The ‘Bone” (trombone, get it?), but nothing on the internet has ever made me want to politely avert my eyes out of respect like this “parody” gone terribly, terribly made by an intern who is also the boss’s nephew kind of horribly wrong:

I’m at a loss to describe how bad this is. It’s so bad that the only proper emotion is anger. It’s so bad it makes the Liz Phair one look good. It’s so bad it’s like a rejected Mad TV audition tape. What do we have to do to get AOL to stop this systematic destruction of our childhood heroes?