Crest is looking for a new catchphrase for some reason. Because that’s what toothpaste is missing? MY TOOTHPASTE NEEDS MORE SIZZLE. So, if you’re a toothpaste company looking to hold an unnecessary contest to build buzz around your brand (of toothpaste, still talking about toothpaste), who do you get for your spokesperson? Wait, what? You get Emeril? Why do you get Emeril? Well, you are the boss, Mr. Paste. But that still doesn’t explain why you seemed to satisfy yourself with just one stilted take of Emeril barely hamming out his lines in front of a green screen. This thing is going on the front page of YouTube, guys. Act like it.
“We nailed it in one take, Mr. Legasse. Incredible. You’re a truly amazing performer.”
I was going to end this post in grand blog tradition with some catchphrases of my own but I couldn’t think up a single catchphrase. You know why? BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING TOOTHPASTE IS WHY.