R. Kelly Is The George W. Bush Of Talking

Toure conducted an interview with R. Kelly on The Channel That Must Not Be Named last night. Normally, of course, Videogum refuses to write or promote anything to do with that network, but this is not really about them. This is about the INCREDIBLE things that come out of R. Kelly’s mouth. In this clip (via FourFour), R. Kelly answers the question “do you like teenage girls,” but not before asking Toure to clarify what “teenage girls” means. Like I said, INCREDIBLE.

“He’s still my brother, but if he’s still my brother why’d he get fired?”
“Why did he get fired?”
“I can’t get into that.”

You might think that this is just further proof that R. Kelly is nuts, but I think this is further proof that we’re going to see an R. Kelly presidency. I haven’t heard mind-crushing rhetoric like this since the 2004 election. His dull-witted clarifications and confident yet nonsensical assertions remind me of my favorite moment from the debates between Kerry and Bush when George Bush petulantly reminded America: “Of course I know Osama bin Laden attacked us. I know that.”

Incredible. R. Kelly for President. The people who don’t work for him say that, but the people who do work for him don’t say that, so don’t listen to the people who’ve been fired, but don’t listen to the people who’ve been hired, either, listen to the facts. Next thing you know, World War III.