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The Pussycat Dolls Might Make A Movie About Something

According to British tabloid The Daily Star (via JoBlo), the Pussycat Dolls are considering bringing whatever the f it is the Pussycat Dolls do (burlesque? strip-hop? unwatched reality TV shows?) to the big screen:

The burlesque dance troupe turned pop group are about to add movie stars to their list of credentials.

My spy told me: “PCD are getting a lot of film scripts to look through at the moment.

“It’s gonna be semi-biographical, about their rise to fame, with loads of dancing and singing.” The film will feature new material along with past hits and maybe even some celebrity cameos.

It’s only going to be semi-biographical because they have to get rid of the truck stop whoring for bus money out to Los Angeles that many of the Dolls performed, as well as Robin Antin’s month long crying binges that follow anytime she looks in a mirror. That’s not nice. I’m sorry, Robin Antin. It’s just that I think you’re a horrible person. I think this is just coming from the pain I feel about what a horrible person you are.

The Daily Star’s “source” claimed that the movie is going to be inspirational to young women. Yikes. Like what?

Here are a few guesses as to what kind of inspiration the Pussycat Dolls movie would provide young women:

  • That sexual gymnastics are empowering somehow
  • That you don’t have to give a blowjob to succeed in this world unless you WANT TO
  • That it doesn’t matter how little talent you have if your clothing personality and stripping style nicely compliments the clothing personalities and stripping styles of your “band” mates
  • That you can make millions of dollars even if no one fully understands what it is that you are doing

We’ve seen this before, of course, with Spice World, which led to the inspirational examples of Scary Spice’s paternity suit against Eddie Murphy and the walking embodiment of female empowerment Victoria Beckham. I’m not a woman, but even I’m inspired by Victoria Beckham. Inspired to barf. She is the absolute worst in a Spice World of worsts.