The Social Networking Website Movies That Never Were

As Vulture Blog reported today, Aaron Sorkin, writer of West Wing and A Few Good Men, is currently working on a movie about Facebook. He’s even created the Facebook Group to prove it. Says Sorkin’s Facebook:

I’ve just agreed to write a movie for Sony and producer Scott Rudin about how Facebook was invented. I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I’ve started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she’s been dead for 33 years.)

His status is ZING! Also, yuck. If you’re going to make a movie about how a four-year-old social networking site was invented the sequel is going to have to be the story of how entertainment died when someone made a movie about how a four-year-old social networking site was invented. Not to mention SLOW DOWN Facebook. You are not movie-ready yet. There are piles of social networking sites that have been waiting patiently for their faithful translation to the silver screen.

For example:

Friendster: The Movie
Tagline: Best Friends For Now
Pitch: The year was 2003. 3 Doors Down and 50 Cent ruled the airwaves. The Matrix trilogy had just ended in utter disappointment. This movie captures the heart and soul of a bygone era that was actually only five years ago but feels like forever ago.

MySpace: The Movie
Tagline: We Thought It Was OurSpace But It Was Hers
Pitch: The United States is thrown into total anarchy as productivity stops and the nation’s economy and functional infrastructure grind to a halt. The American people have become obsessed with a website and no one knows why considering how poorly designed it is, and full of people you don’t know trying to promote their horrible band. Only Tila Tequila can save the day by making people feel ashamed they even registered in the first place.

Orkut: The Movie
Tagline: Seriously, What Is Orkut?
Pitch: A documentary about what Orkut is because who knows. The Movie
Tagline: Ladies? Ladies?
Pitch: A lonely man in his one bedroom apartment enters a world he never knew existed, a world in which he can pretend that a bunch of other lonely men in their one bedroom apartments are attractive women who just want to connect with decent guys and have some fun. They’re not. But he can pretend.