I think it’s long time someone finally had the courage to say who gives a fuck about jet packs. I’m sorry, guys, but this is an outdated future technology that we don’t need to fantasize about anymore. That’s right, I’m rising up, a lone voice against Big Jet Pack.
Now, let’s be very clear on this.
I’m not against futuristic modes of travel that involve flying or excessive speed. Those are two great qualities that we should definitely keep in our outlandish travel technology plans. But jet packs are the Segway Scooters of the ’50s and ’60s and the only reason they aren’t as derided is because they never existed. If jet packs were made available in as limited and overpriced a format as the modern Segway, everyone would be making so much fun of that shit. “I saw a guy flying his jet pack down the street and he had to pull over in mid-air to let an ambulance pass by. It was ridiculous.” That’s the kind of anti-jet pack cocktail talk you’d be hearing at all the parties.
Because here’s the thing no one ever talks about: when you get to your location, whether it’s a dinner party or a funeral, sure, you get there with comfort and style, but now you’ve got to lug this giant jet pack around with you all day. It can be difficult just having to figure out what to do with one’s coat during the winter, how are we going to deal with 1500 cubic pounds of compressed nitrogen?
No, jet packs are done. You can pack them away in the Ideas Basement, next to the box of Hypercolor t-shirts and on top of Breckin Meyer’s career.
(video via Rob Huebel)