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Kara DioGuardi Joining American Idol As First Non-Addled Female Judge

BREAKING NEWS today on the American Idol front. They’re adding a fourth judge!

NEW YORK – Scoot over, Simon Cowell. “American Idol” is adding a fourth critic to its panel of judges.

Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi will sit alongside Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson when the eighth season of “American Idol” premieres in January, the Fox network said Monday.

Well, OK. It seems like the magic combination of Simon, Randy, and Paula with the comic foil of Seacrest has been one of the main draws of the show. But I can understand how after 47 years on the air you’d want to change things up a bit.

Although I’m not sure I totally agree with FOX’s explanation for the change.

“For the past seven seasons, Paula has had to endure the experience of being the only woman at the judges’ table,” said Mike Darnell, president, alternative programming of Fox, in a statement.

“With Kara by her side, Paula has some backup and now there is going to be a lot more `girl power’ on the show,” Darnell said.

If Paula Abdul has had to endure anything for the past seven years it’s been the neuro-chemical ups and downs of only being able to ingest codeine during the commercial breaks. It seems like FOX doesn’t even understand how important it is to keep narcotic levels even and constant so as to avoid the early stage symptoms of withdrawl.

Look, I know that it’s nothing new to point out that Paula Abdul is under the influence of intoxicants, but it’s not any older or more played out than talking about “girl power.”