Demanded Explanation: Bruno The Kid

In the courts of law there is a statute of limitations that defines that maximum amount of time that can pass after something occurs before it is brought to court. But this is e-court of the iNternet, and there is no statute of limitations on apologizing. Which is why I would like someone in Hollywood to make amends for the short-lived Bruce Willis animated series Bruno The Kid.

Yes, that is a CGI Bruce Willis face that is creeping you out. And YES, that is Bruce Willis singing the very bluesy intro. In the cartoon, which seems to be a frustrated reaction to the success of Life with Louie, Willis was the voice of Bruno, an 11-year-old boy, who is recruited by the top secret espionage organization, The Globe, who don’t know he’s 11 because he only talks to them via computer and uses the CGI Bruce Willis face to disguise himself as a lecherous 40 year old with a penchant for fedoras. No. This would all be bad enough if it was just some mis-managed attempt at creating a child’s entertainment, but Bruno is actually Bruce Willis’s artistic alter-ego. This cartoon was some kind of Bruce Willis wish-fulfillment being played out in the realm of children. And that is disgusting.

I have done extensive research and as far as I’m able to tell there has never been a public apology from either Mr. Willis or the President of Entertainment. America waits.