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Forget It Jake, It’s Diddytown

Someone call the Ego Ward at the Narcissism Hospital, guys. Diddy needs to go there.

How sad are the Making the Band contestants going to be this season? Not only do they have to compete with the people Who Want To Work For Diddy for the man’s attention, but he’s going to interrupt their show each week with a progress report on his weight loss? What? The man no longer even pretends to be engaged with his media empire. It takes up too much time he could be thinking about himself. When he’s not vlogging or betting himself two million dollars that he’s wearing another shirt under this shirt, he’s probably just in his room, masturbating to fantasies of seeing his own reflection in the mirror. To be fair, in the true Diddy fashion of doing everything bigger and bolder than the rest, his self-love is so over the top it doesn’t even make sense anymore.