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Heidi Montag Is Mentally Retarded, And I Mean That In The Respectful, Clinical Definition

Speaking of The Hills, in preparation for tonight’s season 4 debut, Heidi has released a new single, “Overdosin’.” You know what they say, misery loves blogging about it.

This is unbearable, yes, but it is possible to find a bright side. The bright side is that the only other circumstance in which you’d have to hear something this bad would be at a friend’s house when they wanted to show off how talented their four-year-old was. As it stands, we can all turn this off and have a good laugh about poor Heidi Montag and her delusions of not being the worst. But if it were the other way around we’d be squirming on a couch, wiping our sweaty palms against our jeans with Vaseline grins on our faces, trying to power through the awkward situation without telling our friends the truth, which is that they should take their child to a hospital immediately.