The big development news this morning (more like development SNOOZE, am I right, guys?) was about ABC’s television adaptation of Maid in Manhattan, a movie that didn’t end Jennifer Lopez’s career, but definitely captured the end of Jennifer Lopez’s career. From the Hollywood Reporter:
ABC is bringing the Jennifer Lopez starrer “Maid in Manhattan” to the small screen.
The network is in negotiations for a series adaptation of the 2002 romantic comedy to be written by Chad Hodge and executive produced by Lopez, Joe Roth and the film’s producer, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas.
But that movie stinks! Everyone knows that. Your mom has terrible taste in movies and she refused to see it. She just thought it looked too dumb. She went to see Two Weeks Notice instead. Now, I know that Hollywood wants to open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drill for ideas, but surely there’s a better stop gap than this. I love romantic comedies (THIS IS A SECRET, DO NOT TELL PEOPLE) and I can easily think of 10 romantic comedies that would make better shows than Maid in Manhattan. And I have. After the jump, a list of the 10 romantic comedies that would make better TV shows than Maid in Manhattan.
10. As Good As It Gets
There are not enough stories about homophobic octogenarians with crippling cases of obsessive compulsive disorder and their romantic liaisons on television.
9. Reality Bites
I do think this could be a decent show. But the producers would probably try too hard to make it “hip” and “edgy” with lots of “sizzle” and that fast-talking pop-culture-reference-dropping dialogue the kids love. It would be on the CW, starring Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, and it would make billions.
8. Adam’s Rib
Everyone loves two things: bickering couples whose fiery romance crackles with tension and Law and Order. Your grandparents knew it, your mom knows it, and now you know it.
7. When Harry Met Sally
Despite the fact that Billy Crystal is horrible and Meg Ryan has made a deal with the Surgery Devil, this is a great movie, and could totally be a good show. If you put it on HBO and got some good writers and talented actors it could be like Seinfeld for people who fuck.
6. My Man Godfrey
My Man Godfrey’s story of a socialite who hires a vagrant to be her personal butler only to find out he’s rich too is rife with the kind of class politics obsessing our country. The one downside is you’d probably have to hire Paris Hilton for the part of Irene. For ratings. Ugh, ratings.
I think they already tried to make this into a show. It’s called Pushing Daisies and no one has ever seen it. But this would be a cute show. I would
date watch this show.
4. The Princess Bride
I have two words for you: money factory.
3. The Apartment
A Mad Men style show about a ’60s businessman trying to climb the corporate ladder by lending out his apartment to philandering executives? Are you kidding me? You better reinforce your mantle for the weight of all those Emmys, whoever is reading this list and is definitely going to do this for real.
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This was a great movie, but Michel Gondry was kind of made for television. His unspooling threads of whimsical half-stories tend to fall apart on the big screen (COUGHSCIENCEOFSLEEPCOUGH). I think he works best when given rules and limitations, like the rule that it has to be a show, and the limitation of it can’t be longer than a show.
1. Groundhog Day
The movie is beloved and Bill Murray is unimpeachable (except when he is impeachable), but seriously, imagine this as a show. Every episode is the same day? I’m a genius. Hollywood, you’re fired.