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What The FUCK Is Up With Skittles: A History

There’s a new Skittles commercial (via UniqueDaily, featuring David Neher) and it just raises the question: what the fuck is up with Skittles?

That’s your candy. And that is how you eat your candy.

Look, I enjoy the current trend in advertising where the ads seem to be more about entertainment value than selling the product. In a world as oversaturated with marketing messages as ours is, where I’m pretty sure some pharmaceutical company has probably tattooed an ad for their blood pressure medication on one of my internal organs while I was asleep, it’s somehow a relief to see an ad like this where if I’m being sold something, I SURE CAN’T TELL. But surely Skittles Corp. is not running a charity whose mission statement is to make me laugh. They must be assuming that when 18-34-year-old men walk into a bodega, they see all their candy options and think “I’m going to get that fucked up one.”

This has been going on for awhile with the Skittles. They have a whole history of funny-weird commercials. After the jump, a partial run down.

The most depressing.

.

The second most creepy.

The first most creepy.

The grossest.

Who does Skittles think they’re appealing to? The Little Gnome Fauntleroy from the Starburst commercial? He sees these ads and is like “If only the wizard would lift my curse, I’d eat two kinds of candy at every meal.” For the record, my candy consumption has remained flat since these ads started appearing, but it could be more because I don’t really eat candy than because I’m disgusted by men with anthropomorphised beards. Could be. Maybe.