Guess Jennifer Garner’s Face’s Secret Past

This commercial is so new it’s not even on YouTube yet, or it’s not on YouTube yet because they didn’t want it to be because it’s creepy. Jennifer Garner has been doing Neutrogena commercials for a while, but so far none have been this…confusing? Suggestive? I don’t actually know what she’s talking about having done to her face that’s such a secret. Tanning? Smoking? Why is she so wink-wink about it? Anyway:

That creeps everyone else out too, right? The part where she emphasizes her facial damage shame with a knowing, “get it?” look? No, Jennifer Garner.