Videogum

Friday Fight: Is Steve Guttenberg A Joke?

gabe: i think you should leave steve guttenberg alone
lindsay: he doesn’t want to be left alone!
lindsay: steve guttenberg is terrified of being alone.
gabe: don’t do him any favors
gabe: it’s not like you cared what steve guttenberg wanted
gabe: for the past 20 years
lindsay: I always felt bad when he was the butt of jokes.
gabe: hahahahhahah
lindsay: so to that degree I cared very slightly
gabe: so many great steve guttenberg jokes out there


lindsay: ever so slightly
gabe: everyone’s always cracking those classic steve guttenberg jokes

lindsay: I think he should have changed his name to be an actor
lindsay: I think a lot of it is his name
gabe: why, becuase you’re anit-semitic?
lindsay: and yeah there are a lot of steve guttenberg jokes!
llindsay: ike in the late 90s he was the go-to cliche
lindsay: No, to another jewish name
gabe: “i think he should change his name, you know, because of the jew thing”
lindsay: that isn’t so silly
lindsay: Steve Greene
gabe: so
gabe: a more palatable jewish name
gabe: is what you’re saying
gabe: he should not sound SO jewish
gabe: just a little jewish
gabe: he can sound jew-Y
lindsay: Steve Guttenberg’s name problem is not because the name sounds jewish
gabe: like, to keep people guessing
gabe: i think it’s respectable to not change your name for hollywood
lindsay: I think SG’s entire problem is his innocent puppy dog eyes
gabe: what? those eyes made him millions
lindsay: They attract bullies
lindsay: haha, “millions”
lindsay: two million
gabe: steve guttenberg is a millionaire
gabe: he was a huge star for awhile

lindsay: it’s true
gabe: maybe he spent it
gabe: on manischevitz
gabe: and bagels
lindsay: hahaha
gabe: RIGHT, LINDSAY?
gabe: but at the very least
gabe: he has had millions
lindsay: you can’t admit that he just has a silly name
gabe: pass through his greedy Jew hands
gabe: i think the suggestion that someone should change their name
gabe: because it sounds silly
gabe: unless that name
gabe: is Dickfart
lindsay: or Proops
gabe: is coming froma place of bigotry
gabe: not necessarily malicious
gabe: or even conscious
lindsay: what? hush
lindsay: are you joking?
gabe: but if someone’s name is just “exotic”
gabe: no, i’m not joking
lindsay: I forgot he was jewish when I said that
gabe: this is our fight
gabe: here is our friday fight
gabe: right here
gabe: you cannot run away from it
lindsay: this is not our fight
gabe: but it doesn’t matter whether it’s jewish or some other ethnicity
gabe: it’s the same thing
lindsay: a guttenberg by any other name would also be the butt of jokes?

lindsay: it’s the eyes
lindsay: wait no- the NOSE
gabe: his tiny Jew eyes
gabe: hahaha
gabe: right
gabe: anyway, not to get all chris crocker about it
gabe: but after all steve guttenberg has done for you
lindsay: I said he doesn’t want to be left alone!
lindsay: he keeps coming back for more!
lindsay: he wants to be on the tenth floor of our hearts
gabe: that’s true, nevermind, fuck steve guttenberg
lindsay: You know what? We should give him a lot of props just for not becoming a scientologist
lindsay: I’m sure it was very tempting at times
gabe: that’s like giving someone props
gabe: for not having schizpohrenia
lindsay: Dinner parties at Jenna Elfman’s place..
lindsay: theater tickets from Kirstie Alley
gabe: i do not give people props for NOT being insane
gabe: and also, how do you know he’s not?
lindsay: In his case actually it might have been MORE sane to join
gabe: did you see him at synogague?
gabe: you know what a synogague is, irght?
gabe: it’s like a Jewish church
gabe: it’s where we keep all our gold and media control
lindsay: yeah I can even spell it right
gabe: he wants a reality show, right?
lindsay: Presumably, since he’s now bragging that he’s been offerred one
gabe: hahahah bragging
gabe: who hasn’t been offered a reality show at this point?
gabe: your mom has been offered a reality show
gabe: what would it even be about?
lindsay: hmm
lindsay: Steve Guttenberg, Life Coach
lindsay: regular people who wanted to make it in hollywood would let him make all their decisions
lindsay: Those who can’t, teach type thing
gabe: that’s not fair
lindsay: The Goot Is My Life Coach
gabe: he did
gabe: he made it
gabe: i don’t even get what the joke is about him really
lindsay: well he does have a lot of life advice
gabe: that he was wildly successful and then disappeared?
gabe: all your great steve guttenberg jokes
gabe: at your hilarious guttenberg cocktail parties
gabe: where you and your friends would crack wise all night about steve guttenberg
lindsay: yes, at Klan meetings
gabe: you’re like the soup nazi but for jews
gabe: why is it even funny to make fun of steve guttenberg
lindsay: well it’s not anymore
lindsay: he turned the tables
lindsay: he’s coming out and saying “hey world, guess what? I’m not bland. I’m crazy!”

lindsay: so none of the jokes will work anymore
gabe: WHAT ARE THESE JOKES?
lindsay: it’s like a hack comedian thing
gabe: “you guys, did you hear the one about how steve guttenberg isn’t that famous anymore, and how he seems bland.”
gabe: you have GOT to invite me to your next party
lindsay: How do you play a prank on Steve Guttenberg? Leave the plunger in the toilet
lindsay: I don’t invite hack comedians to my parties
gabe: i think that joke is supposed to be
gabe: how do you play a prank on Steve Guttenberg?
gabe: Who’s Steve Guttenberg?
gabe: i’m going to be the life of your shitty rip on steve guttenberg party
lindsay: If anything, I would have a party in honor of Steve
lindsay: I think we’re going to be seeing a lot more of him now
gabe: where?
lindsay: i don’t know. like at the deli and stuff. he’s around.