After a heated bidding war, Brad and Angelina have finally sold the first photos of their newborn babies, Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon, to People magazine for 14 million dollars. The money will be placed in a charity foundation that Pitt and Jolie have founded to help children around the world, which means Vivienne will have to find another way to fund her inevitable line of VM lingerie for the working girl, and Knox will not be able to use the 14 million to produce his popular Knox Leon handbags for men (so hot in 2029). What is up with these silly hilarious names is what I’m saying.
The issue of People with the embarrassingly expensive photos won’t appear on newsstands until next week, but a tipster who shall remain anonymous has provided us with an exclusive first look at the newest members of the Jolie-Pitt family, after the jump.
Introducing Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt
And Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt
Admittedly, that is a stock photo of a sleeping baby and the anonymous tipster’s name rhymes with Google. But I will bet you 14 million dollars that the twins look basically exactly like that. You know why? Because they’re fucking babies. The world is a vampire.