Well, Takashi Miike Sucks Now

Japanese director Takashi Miike has made a name for himself internationally with his disturbing, hyper-violent films like Ichi the Killer and Audition. But when his new movie comes out, Sukiyaki Western Django, he’ll be known as the guy who thought it was OK to cast Quentin Tarantino as a cowboy anything.

No, Takashi Blaine. That movie would almost look OK (sword vs. bullet) but it never even gets the chance because right up front you’ve got the Vampire LeStatarantino shitting in your eyes. Oh, Takashi Miike is one of the greatest directors living today? Says Quentin Tarantino? In a trailer for a movie starring Quentin Tarantino? And whose bright idea was it to give him TWO DIFFERENT ROLES? Surely there must have been someone else who could portray a wheelchair bound pancake made of death batter doing a retarded Forrest Gump impersonation (so double retarded). This just goes to show that you can have lots of things going for you (SWORD VS. BULLET), but once Tarantino’s dominant FAIL genes enter the DNA of your movie, it’s going to end up like a cinematic version of that little creature from the Island of Dr. Moreau. (That is a metaphor that works because of how easy it is to follow.)