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If We’ve Learned Anything From Shia LaBeouf’s Accident, It’s That Australia Is Amazing

We’ve been avoiding the Shia LaBeouf car crashtroversy this week for a few reasons:

  • It’s celebrity gossip, so BARF
  • The accidents we cover are trampoline accidents
  • Transformers sucked

As we know now, of course, Shia has been charged with misdemeanor drunk driving (rather than felony) due in part to the LAPD finding that the accident was not his fault, he’s had surgery on his hand, his mom says he’s doing great, and he told Details magazine that he’s an alcoholic. All in all, snore me a river. But some news surfaced today from the camp of Isabel Lucas, the passenger in LaBeouf’s F150 and his co-star in Transformers 2 (which will suck). She received minor injuries, has returned to work, blah blah blah, but her mom gave this statement to the press today (via Staralicious):

“There has been an enormous media thing with this in the [United] States,” Ms. Lucas told The Cairns Post. “From Isabel’s perspective, it was just a normal car accident.”

Whoa.

Now I don’t know how they do things in Australia, but if a normal car accident means riding shotgun in a truck driven by a famous movie star and having that truck FLIP THE FUCK OVER in the middle of an intersection and become THE BIGGEST STORY IN THE WORLD, then we should all MOVE TO AUSTRALIA because that is INSANE. Seriously. Let’s go, you guys. Here. You’re welcome.

Lucas’s mom also says that Shia wasn’t drunk, and I believe her, because she wasn’t there and also what?