From G’s To Gents Keeps Being Racist And Starts Getting Real

Something weird is happening on MTV’s most racist show, From G’s to Gents. People are acting like human beings. Despite producers best efforts to stick a bunch of dudes in a house, pump them full of malt liquor, and have their lives taped to find out what really happens when people stop being polite and start living out colonial nightmares, they’re acting like human beings trapped in a stereotype-propagating death trap. These savages should have torn each other apart like the violent subhuman creatures that they are by now, but for some strange reasons they’re taking on the fully developed character traits of self-worth, self-preservation, and honesty. Whuuuuut?

In last night’s episode, the house villain, Kesan, decided to leave the show because everyone had ganged up and plotted against him. He felt that it was a dangerous, unnatural environment. What, how so? What’s more natural than a reality TV show Mansion of Sadness with a fridge full of 40s, five person bedrooms, and studio lighting in the bathroom? Keesan even said to a fellow castmember “I’m not built for this,” and when the cast member continued to demand that they “talk things out,” Kesan told him that he was “frontin’ for the cameras” and that he should call him on his cellphone if he wanted to talk. Looks like someone still respects their right to privacy. Lame.

Then, when Creeper took off his Hater Blockers (AKA sunglasses) and told Kesan that he was inspired by the changes Kesan was making in his life to make changes in his own life, and Kesan decided to stay, that made Cee, who is white and Jewish and dresses like a frat boy at the world’s worst Pimps and Ho’s Party (the world’s worst Pimps and Ho’s Party, incidentally, is what most alcoholics refer to as “rock bottom”) realize that he had been too hard on Kesan, and that Kesan was the only person being real in the house, and that he needed to call his ex-girlfriend Gina and start crying.

This show is getting so intense, you guys. It’s obviously the most racist thing on television, with the exception of Under One Roof, which is pure racism, like that scene in the end of Time Bandits when Evil Genius is defeated in the Fortress of Darkness, and his body explodes into a million rocks of pure evil and one of them ends up in a microwave. Just a nugget of pure racism that show. But despite its racism, From G’s to Gents is laying bare the typical desire of most reality TV show stars, to leave behind their former lives and enter into some kind of rareified world of “success” and shrimp cocktail. Except for the first time ever, the people on this show seem to be realizing that maybe reality TV isn’t the best way to go about self-actualization, which kind of makes it the BEST reality show. I said kind of. The best reality show, of course, is Paradise Hotel.